Believing Without Seeing...

Yesterday I sat pondering my life. I thought of a time when my Savior had been a help in my time of need. He came to me in a house fire once and saved me from the wreckage. Actually he has come to me in every wreckage, trial and heartbreak I have experienced. One day I realized that he had not come to me so much as I had come to him. HE had been there all the time! I realized He has been there for every celebration of joy, sorrow, grief and pain. We journey together and this best friend has never forsaken me. I am truly grateful for this friend and the blessing he is to my life.

When I think of Jesus's birth, I am reminded that it took faith for the shepherds and wise men to believe the Savior had been born before they went to see him. I was not in Bethlehem and did not hear the angels sing and yet the invitation still stands for me to come to him. Sometimes we have faith to believe things without seeing them.

In pondering my life again and why I am still here. He saved me from that house fire and death for a reason. What is my reason? What was my purpose? During this reflection a memory was brought to the fore front of my mind.

Many of you know I spent a few weeks in Honduras a few years in a row. Working in orphanages and villages after the big hurricane Hugo hit. The first year I spent most of my time in a particular orphanage. The following year was spent building a school and house, teaching music at a local church, visiting many orphanages to bring shoes, clothing, food and love. It was a gift to return to the first orphanage that touched my heart so fondly. The memory I am speaking of among many is this:

It was the fall of 1999. I was taking a break from working at the orphanage one afternoon. I could hear music faintly and wondered where this was coming from. I wondered down a little path near the village and found a little seventh day adventist church. It was small with open windows. I was overjoyed when I saw they had a piano. Even out of tune it was beautiful to my ears. I have expressed myself often just sitting and playing the piano. I was feeling so many things on this journey and to sit and play would help me to put into perspective the things I could not say. I sat down and began to play. I heard giggles and looked up to see the children's faces peeking over the window sill. They ran away laughing when I discovered them and told the orphanage director about me. While working one day she came to me and mentioned that the children liked my playing and asked if I would join them on Wednesday night at their village church meeting. She asked if I would share a song I had written and offered to interpret . Immediately I agreed. I gave her the lyrics to a song I had most recently written at the time which depicted the woman who bathed our Saviors feet with her tears. It is titled "Lord, Please Forgive Me".

That evening outside the crumbly walls of the little church, I prayed to God. I prayed that he would bless the people there with the holy spirit and the presence of our Savior's love, that the message of repentance, HIS message would be received and understood. I did not speak Spanish and so I really pleaded with the Lord to bless the music to communicate for me through the Holy Ghost. I then asked for them to feel the love of our Savior to feel his presence again. I told God that I believed if it was something He wanted then I knew he would deliver. I said "Heavenly Father...I believe, I have faith!" and closed my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

The humble little church room was full. The orphans and village people were there sitting on the floor, on chairs and standing. The preacher gave his message. It was in Spanish so I did not understand it. Then the orphanage director stood up and announced me, she read the lyrics in Spanish as promised and then motioned for me to begin. I was with my back to them because of the position of the piano. Amazingly the acoustics were decent to allow them to hear me well. I was quite nervous but began. The song went smoothly until the last verse and chorus. What happened then I shall never forget.

A hush fell upon the room. I felt it. I felt Him. Our Savior had come in his love and his spirit. I recognized this feeling and it consumed me to the point I almost could not finish the song, for HE was there! I finished the song and did so with tears streaming down my face. My soul was on fire and my heart felt so much love that I thought it more than I could bare. I finally turned around and saw that every man, woman and child had tears streaming down their faces too. The room was silent and eventually they began to clap. Afterwards I was bombarded with hugs and meaningful moments looking into the eyes of "the least of these, the Lord's children." God had answered my prayers. There was no barrier of race, religion, language, rich or poor, even man or child. We all felt our Saviors presence, His love!

I sat starring into the starry sky that night in such awe and wonder. Thanking my Heavenly Father for giving me purpose. He saved me for a reason and this no doubt was one of them. I will never forget how I came to him and he came to me, to all of us that special night. I did not see him, but I knew he was there. I believe we can have faith and if it is God's will, then it is so! All things are possible to those that believe on his name.

Am I grateful for my Saviors birth? For His purpose? I shout a resounding YES! Am I grateful for my birth and my purpose? YES! We are children of God and each of us has a purpose, a plan and reason we are here!